WAHMderful Life Workshop: Real Ways to be a WAHM (The Rerun)

It has been four months since I haven't had a full-time job (yes, I did count). Do I regret my decision? Not in the least. Am I bored at home? At times, I admit. Am I enjoying being a work-at-home mom? SUPER!

I cannot count the number of times that I have said that I am thankful for having been given an opportunity to work from my favorite space (no, it's not the mall, although who's stopping me from working there?). The first time I heard of the term WAHM (work-at-home mom) was through Martine's blog. I was just doing my usual blog-hopping when I was pregnant when I landed on her blog. I have to say, her posts prompted me to look for other working options. So since I was pregnant, I have been working at the university in the morning and working online at night. You can just imagine the stress Laika and I were getting from that! Luckily, we're pass that stage and I have since resigned from my job.

I have to say, I had a difficult time looking for writing gigs at the beginning. And then I heard that  the Manila WAHM's group is going to be holding a workshop for WAHMs and WAHMs-to-be that October. I wanted to join but then I thought I would have a one-month old by then. And then, they had another run that I was able to attend. I have to say I learned a lot and met women who have been inspiring me through my journey. And now, I want to invite YOU to attend the rerun of the WAHMderful Like Workshop.

From the WAHMderful Life website:

The WAHMderful Life Workshop is the ONLY workshop for women who want to work from home while making a home. An original Dainty Mom event, this workshop features a series of interactive workshops geared towards the encouragement and empowerment of women who are working from home or would like to do so.

Our primary audience comprises stay at home moms, moms who want to start a home-based business, moms interested in working from home whether as freelance professionals, telecommuters, or entrepreneurs.

If you’re working, already a WAHM, or are thinking about becoming a work-at-home parent, the WAHMderful Life Workshop is here to help you make that possible.

This rerun of the workshop that I attended will be this Saturday, April 13, 2012. Please click this link for more information and to register.

Why "Pocket-Friendly"?

You might have seen on my domain name that I have a little phrase there. Pocket-Friendly.

Well, let me tell you a little something about me.

I was raised by a frugal person. So much so that when his office made him choose what car to drive, he chose a simple Toyota.

Papa never raised us to love material things. Even if he was entitled to it, he never bought flashy things for himself. Credit cards? Unheard of. Mortgages? Never had them. He never bought a property, be that real estate or vehicular, unless he can pay for it in cash. I'm not saying we have much. It's just that Papa believes in delayed gratification. If you can't afford it, then maybe you don't need it.

Growing up, I only heard of Polly Pocket from classmates. Lisa Frank, who is she? Toys are not given to us. It was earned. I got a hundred pesos when I topped the honor roll. It's up to us how we will spend it. Same with buying school supplies. We are given a certain amount. If you want to splurge, so be it. But you must know the consequences of that.

Maybe that's why I am so in love with gadgets. I had none when I was young. I am not saying I was deprived. It made me realize that my parents worked so hard to get us where we are. My father is a simple man who made us shop in Tutuban at times and made us dine in Cafe Jeepney in Intercontinental Hotel during others.

Until his dying days, he chose his family. He was offered by his office to be sent to Netherlands for treatment but he opted to stay here and be with us. Family is numero uno to him.

All my frugal ways, I learned from him. I hated him for it before but I am so full of admiration for him now.

Makes me miss my Papa during times like these. He, to me, is the epitome of contentment. And I love him for it.

Home Office Evolution

Hi, I'm Talia. I'm a mother and I work from home.

Family Picture 2008

A little background for you: Being that I grew up with seven siblings, I have always craved for a place of my own. Eight kids means one room for boys and one room for girls. In our case, that means I had to share a room with four of my sisters. Eventually, my older sister had her own room and I then shared a room with three.

The one on the left was my workspace when I was sharing room with three of my sisters. I was a landscape architecture student then, so yes, a drawing board is in order.

And then I got my own room (although my older brother will disagree because that's his room. I just loved claiming it when he moved to the room downstairs) which is colored aqua blue and is much too masculine in my opinion. Too long a story but the point is, I wanted to have my own space that I can decorate. 

Please ignore the face. Pretty please.

When I got married and my husband and I rented our place, I asked him if it would be possible if each of us had our own workspace. One table for my things, another for his. It was a luxury given that space in the city where we live is precious. Think goldmine. That's how I would describe it.

There are times when I would bring my computer (no matter how heavy it is) to the bedroom temporarily just because that's where the air conditioner is. I would like to think this happened around summer time because there is no way I will lug the computer around unless it is scorching hot. But then again, I am known to push around humongous cabinets as a hobby so I guess, never say never, right?

And then me, the biggest-furniture-mover in the world, the one in charge of space layout in the house, I changed my mind. Not just once. More of a hundred times. We don't need a table for each. One is enough for both of us. 

After giving birth, I was tired of sticking to a color palette. Motherhood made me crave for different bursts of color. Red is my favorite at present. It shows. Oh, yes, it does show.

But who am I kidding? I am a mother now and I enjoy being with my kid. So I was demoted to working on the floor with my daughter in front of me. Total joy. Except when she's crying her eyes out and I just don't know what to do. In that case, I whisper to myself, "you love your daughter, you love your daughter, you love your daughter".

How about you? How has your home office evolved? Is red your style? Do you love working on your bed?

PS. Take a look at my new domain name. Isn't it awesomesauce? (Name that TV show!) Gives you a clue on what to expect in the future, huh? The site is still on the works so stay tuned.

My "Me" Time

I have always valued my "me" time. When I was in college, whenever stress overwhelms me, I would jog around the university to take a breather. Or sometimes, I eat out alone and window shop by myself.

Now that I have a little family of my own, having quality time with myself has been difficult. It may be hard but I make a conscious effort to make it possible.Otherwise, I don't know if I would still be sane now.

My "me" time happens every night when my husband and my daughter have already fallen asleep. That's when I get to write or read blogs. Other times, when the husband is at work and the baby is in the dreamland, I get to have time for myself, too. Or there are times, I force myself to wake up early even if I'm the last one to sleep so that I can have my quiet time alone.

How about you? How do you spend your alone time?

House Hunting

I promised that I will be walking you through our future house adventures. I also mentioned there that we had to consider many things when we were deciding if we are to buy a unit. After all, we didn't want to end up without a home if and when the husband's residency training is over.

The question lies on whether we will be renting, buying a house (if only...) or buying a condominium unit.

Renting is a big possibility. We have already decided on where we will be settling down but we did not have a house on that place that time. We did not want to live in our parents' place. It just not one of our choices.

Buying a property is also good. Whether it is going to be a house or a townhouse or a condominium unit, that, we don't know.

Luckily, an opportunity presented itself. We were just minding our own business, strolling along the mall to take a look at the showroom of our friend's company, and that's it, we saw that buying a unit can be done.

This is to be our first big purchase so we had to consider a lot of things.

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I told you that we already had a location in mind. I am a South kid through and through. Even if I live in the northern part of Manila now, I know I will always go back. Husband is on board as long as he is assured of good medical practice, good internet connection, and good air conditioning unit (don't ask me!). Good thing there are two projects on that place. Are we lucky or what?

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Having kids in the future is definitely part of the plan that time and I am getting worried that kids nowadays don't get to play outside like we did when we were young. So, yes, I need a big running space for our kids if and when we purchase a place.

What made us say yes to this place? The many, many amenities! I can practically work for DMCI as I have always been singing praises to all their projects. I love that they never took the amenities for granted. Good thing they have a Landscape Architecture Department (plugging!) which means every space is well thought of!

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There is this one company that has it all for you, but unfortunately, when I took a look at the properties they are selling, it was very expensive! That or I simply cannot afford them. I'm thinking it's more of the latter. Haha... Anyway, this unit we are buying has really friendly payment terms.

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When I researched (yes, I stalked them!) the company, I learned that they have a good track record. They are also continually improving their projects which means, they learn from their past mistakes.  I trust this company so much that I am thinking of investing on their stocks in the future (another "if only'').

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Do not, and I mean it, do not be lured by a good showroom. I am quite saddened whenever I know that somebody purchased a unit without even taking a look at the blank floor plan, or even imagining what the unit will look like if there are no furniture and appliances in the room.

I also learned this one trick from years of house-hunting and showroom-looking: showrooms should not be trusted. More often than not, they add a couple of inches here and there. What my agent did was she toured us to a finished unit about to be turned over to the owner, made sure that it was a blank room, and had us take a feel of the place. I also took advantage of this opportunity to look at the natural lighting that the room gets and the amount of ventilation it receives.

And that's, it. We were pretty much sold to the idea. That afternoon, we signed the papers. Now, we are just waiting for the building to be done and we will be moving in! :)  

Playtime with the baby

When I first started working from home, I only did sideline writing and designing jobs. I was still pregnant then with a full-time day job. It was difficult but, with the help of my husband, I was able to do it. Nights were stretched and I did work even during the weekends.

And then, I had to stop working online when Laika was born. By December 2012, I resigned from my job with the plans of working again on January. I was very eager to work that I eventually forgot my reason for adopting this lifestyle--the work-at-home mommy lifestyle.

One day, I saw Laika smiling more when she is with her Ate Sharon (the nanny). Being a happy baby that she is, of course, she still adores me but when I saw how she looks at her Ate, I had to reassess. This is what I have been avoiding and which led me to resign from my work before. Mommy is jealous and she has to do something about it.  

Right then, I had to stop getting projects from people. Quality over quantity this time. I wanted to still be able to play with my daughter in the morning and be there for the husband when he needs me.

I devised a way for this to be possible. Sharon was reassigned to do household chores in the morning while mommy and Laika play in the room. By afternoon, when it is Laika's nap time, I get to face my jobs and be more productive. I also do work when Laika sleeps at night.

Now, Laika has a playschool time with mommy as the teacher.

What do you do to make working at home possible?

A Story on a Hijabi's Dreams

If you are expecting a story on when, how, and why I decided to be a hijabi, I'm afraid now is not the time for that long story. I just knew that one day, I will have to be one. When, I had no idea. Then one time, I got out of the shower and knew I wanted to wear a hijab that day. No plans before that. I wanted to do it spontaneously. The good thing about that was I also had no chance to back out. And now, I wear a hijab whenever I go out.

There. Not a long story after all.

Anyway, that is not the subject of this post. My dreams are.

Funny how, before, I have always had dreams of myself going out in public naked. As in, In my dream, I will go to school and suddenly discover that I am naked. I would find myself running so that I can cover myself up. I read that in psychology, it means I have low self-esteem.

Now that I am a hijabi, I no longer find myself dreaming that I am naked. This time, I always see myself forgetting to put on a hijab and really looking for one in my bag!

Am I really just bound to forget an item of clothing in my dreams? If that's the case, I am plenty grateful that at least now, I have clothes on.

Just a random musing on a weekend.

Things I Learned from the It's A WAHMderful Life Workshop akaYou-are-not-a-good-writer-unless-you-know-Strunk-and-White"

No more introduction. Let's make this short and to the point.

1. Invest. Now is the right time to set aside money for retirement. Income minus savings must be for expenses. Whatever is left off when you subtract your savings from the income, that's only how much you spend. In our case, my husband takes care of the bills; I am in charge of the savings. At least we know the limit of our expenditure.

2. Refine your skills. I wanted to be a writer and I thought having content is enough. Writing is a craft as what Martine de Luna would say. If going back to high school English is what it takes to improve, do it. I am contemplating enrolling at a writing school. I will keep you posted on this.

By the way, always self-edit!

3. Organize. Freelance writing is difficult as you always need to discipline yourself into focusing on the job. From now on, no more procrastinating. Do things now!

4. Working at home does not mean being a freelancer forever. You can always make a career out of writing-at-home. Impress your clients, they might just hire you for the long haul.

5. Build your resume. Market yourself. Submit portfolio to companies. But never, ever give them a document containing your work. Screen cap is good enough.

My Papa's Version of a Fairy Tale

I grew up with seven siblings in our humble abode in Taguig City. As such is the case, I am used to a simple lifestyle.

Living in a two-bedroom bungalow, us five older ones had to share one room while my parents and the younger ones co-sleep in the other room. Every night, while Mama tends to the bunsos, Papa goes in our room and talks to us about our day. Having to take care of eight kids is no joke. How they managed us, I would not know. You can just imagine the riot even during sleeping time. Add to that that there are five girls who love to talk! Because of that, Papa had to think of ways to get us to sleep.

One of his ways is through story-telling. Some kids know Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. I got to know them in school. Who I am familiar with is Prophet Adam (as), Prophet Moses (as), Propher Muhammad (saw), and others. Papa introduced them to us at a young age. Now that we have a little Laika, I hope we get to talk to her and to her future siblings about the prophets in the future, too, in shaa Allah (God willing).

What am I doing now and the It's a WAHMderful Life Workshop

Now that I have quit my full time job in the university, what am I doing at present?

I am officially a WAHM. A work-at-home mom. So, what am I working on aside from being a mother to Laika and a wife to Saud?

As I have said before, I am now doing writing gigs for my clients' different needs. I am also helping out on the marketing aspect of my family's little business. And, of course, being a professional, I am doing landscape architectural projects again.

Now that I think about it, juggling different jobs, I am busier than when I had an 8-to-5 work. Allow me to say that I am enjoying where I am at present.  

Being new to this territory, the working at home one where I get to do my job even on my pajamas, I still have a lot to learn and a ton of things to look forward to. At times like this, I know I need a support group. Good thing my friend, Lique, owner of Honeybaby, introduced me to Manila WAHMs Group in facebook. There, I get to see how fellow WAHMs like me balance their family life and work life. I am looking forward to meeting some of them face to face.

On that facebook group, I got to know about It's a WAHMderful Life Workshop. I was looking forward to attending the first one last October but then, I have just given birth and I have not resigned from my job then.

Fortunately, another workshop is being organized by Manila Workshops and this time, I was given the opportunity to sign up.

My only dilemma at first was figuring out if I should attend the Virtual Assistant session or the Freelance Writing session. But now that I know my goal for the future, I have decided on attending the writing group.

Have you signed up for this workshop? Hope to see you there!

Thankful Tuesdays: Technology and more

Thankful Tuesdays will feature things that I am grateful for at the moment. It is a reminder that every week, every day, every minute, every second, there is something we can be thankful for. It can be something as big as having my daughter (yes, Laika was born on a Tuesday) or as shallow as a cheap find in the mall. Click this link to read on the other Thankful Tuesday posts.

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iPad mini. It has made blogging-on -the-go possible. And the apps! I especially love Newsstand and Zinio apps. Discounted magazine subscriptions without the clutter? I am in! What's more, you can delete the magazines and it gets saved on the Archive and you can download your purchased magazine again for free. I do not regret selling my iPod Touch for this. And it has saved my marriage being that I have stopped stealing my husband's iPad3 (I especially love that the Mini is so much lighter).

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Robinsons Magnolia. This is my favorite mall at the moment. It replaced Trinoma Mall in my heart. I know, I know, very melodramatic. But you have to understand, I spent most of my pre-labor days in a mall. I have not stopped being thankful yet (I kid, I kid). What is it I love the most about Robinsons Magnolia? Aside from the fact that it is the former Magnolia Ice Cream House, there are very few people even on weekends! Plus they have wide hallways perfect for the stroller. Yes, I've found my sanctuary.

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Simple dates with the husband everyday. Breakfast and jogging date. Even if we have not had any sleep the night before, we make a conscious effort to wake up and eat together in the house while Ate Sharon takes care of Laika in the other room. These are the things that we do so that, even if there is a baby in the equation now, we still get to talk, one on one.

Laika's hearty laugh from Anna Talia Basman on Vimeo.

I get to hear my baby's hearty laughs.

Laika dancing with daddy at 17 weeks from Anna Talia Basman on Vimeo.

Seeing my husband dance with our daughter. It makes my sappy mommy heart go awwww...

During Sam dela Cruz' 1st birthday

Friends who make us feel as if we are family. Thanks to the dela Cruzes, Medinas and Mangalindans :D

Why I decided to be a stay-at-home mother

Many people find it hard to believe that I have chosen to quit my work to be a stay-at-home mother. "Sayang pinag-aralan mo". "Malolosyang ka sa bahay". "Ano na gagawin mo?"

I can't seem to answer them. Not because I don't have an answer. It's because I have so much to say that I don't know where to begin. This poster summed up what I wanted to say perfectly.

Thankful Tuesdays

I hate being a lazy blogger but there are times when planning for an entry is too time-consuming that just thinking of what to write is becoming a zzz-fest for me. However, I know that I have a lot of story to tell. Enter a new segment on this blog, Thankful Tuesdays :)

I have written before how I am so contented and happy where my life is now. So much so that I find it unbelievable how somebody who used to take things for granted can be receiving much at present. Thankful Tuesdays will feature things that I am grateful for at the moment. It can be something as big as having my daughter (yes, Laika was born on a Tuesday) or as shallow as a cheap find in the mall. 

I am thankful for my wonderful family and in-laws. I may not be one to celebrate Christmas or New Year (yes, I have stopped celebrating New Year this year), but the season gave us a reason to get together with the people who matter the most.
 

My daughter who just turned 16 weeks last week. I am thankful that she is the jolliest baby that I know (although she has been fussy this morning because of colic). As early as 15 weeks, she has been showing progress and I feel like I cannot catch up with her. She can now pull herself to a sitting position when you offer her a hand. She also wants, nay, insists on standing up every chance she gets. Strong bones, baby. All milk coming from momma.

The smile on my daughter's face whenever she gets to sit on her Tiny Tots Baby Dock Seat. Words cannot explain how happy she gets when she is seated. Although there are times when she needs a break and being confined on the seat is too much for her, I am thankful for the few minutes of bliss that I see.

My cheap finds from Dapitan Arcade. Of all the things I bought, I am most in love with this P100-cake stand and the three-pieces-for-a-hundred-peso porcelain plates.

How about you? What are the things you are grateful for?

Birthday and Anniversary

Today is my husband's 30th birthday and tomorrow is our 2nd wedding anniversary. Let me reflect on our two years of marriage because I cannot possibly sum up his thirty awesome years of existence here on earth in just one blog post.

Our marriage is not an uncomplicated one. We've had bumps here and there. You can say I've had my most thrilling roller coaster ride in this game of life because of him. When we first got together, it was a big, big adjustment for both of us. We were not ready in the sense that, a week before our wedding, neither of us knew we were going to get married. It's a long story and I would rather keep it private. What I am ready to share is the awesomeness that Saud Basman is.

When we got married, on the first three months of our togetherness, we lived in a small studio apartment. So small that we cannot buy a decent dining table as it will not fit in the room. That was my husband's dorm room when he was single. But since we got married unexpectedly, we had to live there temporarily.

We also don't have a car when we first got together. That was our first big buy. A second-hand sedan. Up to now, we are using the said car. We have also experienced buying groceries and as we were to pay in the counter, we had to remove some items as our money in the wallet is not enough. Saud taught me to laugh through it all. We always tell ourselves, "one day, this is the story we will be telling our children and we will just be laughing it off. That we had to return items in our shopping cart because our money is not enough. That we had to use a car with a busted light because we cannot afford to have it replaced". And you know what, he is right. Alhamdulillah (thank God), all those things are a thing of the past.

Just last week, my sister and I were talking. The topic went to contentment in life. And I told her, we, Saud and I, are at a point where we are happy. We have a happy family, our parents love us, Laika is well provided for, our siblings are at peace, nobody is sick, we get to eat well, we have made a home that is comfortable for us, there's nothing really we can ask for. We may not be rich but we are blessed. I can't say Alhamdulillah enough that day. I wanted to cry as I am not a good Muslim and yet He has been blessing us too much. We wanted a simple life and He granted it to us. I have found a partner who is really very kind and very selfless. He won't even buy good clothes for himself unless I tell him he deserves it. I really could not ask for more.

Saud is the greatest love of my life. My biggest rock. My shoulder to cry on. My bestfriend. My partner. Happy 30 years of your awesome living. I love you very much. Thank you for giving me Laika.

Mrs. Talia Basman goes back to work

photo source If only...

Wow! This blog has been ignored for far too long, huh? That's what happens when you're a new mother who has just gotten back to work. Imagine me in the office, calling up Laika's Ate Sharon from time to time with my other hand pumping for my lovely daughter's milk. Phew!

Good thing that is now a thing of the past. Uh-what now? YES! I am now a full time stay-at-home mother. I have just resigned from my work. I felt juggling my being a new mother and having to work to be too much. This is just me. To all the working moms there, I salute you.

Anyway, back to the few weeks I was at work. How was I able to manage? Three things: Sharon, breast pump, play cot.

Yup, in addition to our wooden crib, we had to buy a pack-and-play so that Sharon can still watch over Laika while staying in the living room.

I also got by by pumping in the office. But then, I noticed my milk supply dipped as I am too lazy to pump frequently. Bad, bad practice. I had to use my Spectra double electric pump to ensure that I get the most milk.

Good thing I am not working anymore. I still need to pump every now and then when we have to go out, but at least I am readily available to Laika now.

Laika's 8th week

Hi, Laika!

You are 8 weeks old now which means you are almost two months old which means my maternity leave is almost over :(

I hate the fact that I have to leave you for more than 8 hours because I have just started enjoying being with you. You see, you are now responsive to people around you. You can recognize me and your daddy as you smile more when we are with you. And I just noticed, you are such a talker, aren't you? Here's your response when I asked you, "ano'ng napanaginipan mo?"

Aside from babbling and cooing, you are also smiling and laughing now. In fact, one time, while you were sleeping, I heard you laugh! What a joy it was to witness!

Speaking of sleeping, I think you are a shy person (despite being talkative around us) as you have the tendency to sleep (or fake-sleep) when you are with people you are not familiar with.

I also love it when I play nursery rhymes and you start babbling as if you are singing along to the music. You specially love the song Baa Baa Black Sheep. But when I play some Surah, you are lulled to sleep. Anyway, we are not rushing you. You have many, many more years to study about Islam.

One time, when I saw that you were sleeping, I started praying Isha. I was surprised when your bottle got out of its place and you were shouting as if you know you have to get my attention. Crying is not your first instinct in those kinds of situation. In fact, you are not a crybaby at all which is surprising to me. I don't know why I even expected you to be one.

I hope you continue to be a good daughter. We are very blessed to have you.

Breastfeeding in the Qur'an

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Today marks the day when I can finally pray again. That's almost two months of not doing the salah.

As I was about to pray Asr, Laika cried for milk. I have already performed my wudhu (ablution) so I turned to the internet to find out if breastfeeding will nullify it. The answer is no, wudhu is not nullified by breastfeeding. Not even changing of diapers (as long as you wash your hands that has touched urine).

Anyway, I was surprised to find out that breastfeeding has also been mentioned in the Qur'an. You know the saying "breast milk is best for babies up to two years and beyond"? It is clearly stated in the Holy Book.

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In the second surah (Suratul Baqarah), 233rd ayat of the Qur'an, it was recommended that a child be breastfed up to two years. You may wean as long as both the parents are consenting. You may also have another person breastfeed your child.

Contrary to popular belief, Islam regards women highly. In fact, I have never felt more special as when I got pregnant. Do you know that if you died while giving birth, it's as if you died as a martyr? Just now, I found out it's the same thing as when you are breastfeeding your child.

 I do not claim to be so knowledgeable about my religion. In fact, I am far from knowing a lot but I am trying. If you know something about this topic, I'll be glad to listen to you.

Allah knows best.

Eid'l Adha Long Weekend

When Malacanang announced October 26 a national holiday to celebrate Eid'l Adha, our little family planned on having our own weekend rest. My husband is a big traveler while I am all for staying-at-home. When there were just the two of us, we used to always argue on whether we will be traveling when opportunity comes or we will just be watching TV in the house. Now, as Laika is only a little over a month old, there was no arguing, we can't go somewhere too far.

On Thursday night, as soon as Laika's daddy got home from the office, we visited baby Nash, our youngest nephew. What a cute baby! Can't believe she was as small as him when she was born and now, she can hold her head and try to climb on our shoulders while we burp her!

And then, we went straight to my parents' house as they live in front of a mosque. We celebrated Eid'l Adha with them on Friday morning. Unfortunately, I can't pray as I still have postpartum lochia (I know, TMI!). We spent the rest of the weekend with them.

You can see the people if you just squint a little

As for Laika, she chillax-ed the heck out of the vacation. We are so much grateful to my mother and siblings as they took care of our baby while we were there.

It was a pretty laid back weekend. Come Sunday, my husband and I went to our future home. We will be moving in a year from now there. Seeing the showroom, we got excited of the development. This is the reason why we are saving up. We bought it last year. It seemed too faraway then but now, we can't wait for our unit to be done.

Not ours. This is just a model unit.

So that's how we spent our long weekend. Another long weekend is coming up. I wonder how we will be spending it this time.

Who is the Mister of Mrs. Talia Basman?

In the spirit of over sharing, let me share our story.

Before I became Mommy Talia, I was Mrs. Talia Basman first. And before I became Mrs. Talia Basman, I was Ms. Talia Basman. Huh? How did that happen? Let me explain.

Many people have asked how come I did not change my last name when I got married. Some even asked if I even got married at all.

I am married to my cousin. Not to a distant cousin. To my first cousin. As in, we-share-the-same-last-name kind of cousin. As in, our-fathers-are-brothers kind of cousins. Incest? Nah. Not to my religion Islam. In Islam, we can marry our cousins. It is legal. And we live happily together.

Some people, upon finding out about this, are quite disturbed. Some are even asking if the marriage was arranged. In a way, it is (although I have nothing against arranged marriages, provided both parties are for it). Did we fall in love with each other? Yes, we did.

Before we were "arranged", we were best friends. And you know what they say about friendship being the best foundation.

We used to talk and laugh about everything under the sun. Even up to now, we never run out of things to talk about. We even tell each other about everything we think of. We believe that trust is vital in any relationship. We value it so much.

We are married for almost two years now. Do we regret it? Of course not! Although I would love it if I will not always be questioned on my last name especially during interviews and filling out of government forms. But I can honestly live with it. I am at my happiest at present. Especially now that we have our cute baby girl. And that is a big thank you to the Mister of the House.

Laika and Yarrah's Aqeeqah

Upon finding out that we were pregnant, my husband's older brother called us and we planned on having our babies' Aqeeqah (name-giving ceremony) on the same date (because his wife is expecting that time, too). As they are living in another country and they had to plan their going home here ahead of time, even if we haven't given birth yet, we had the date penciled in already. It has to be on the 14th of October, the same date of their first child's 2nd birthday. It is going to be a triple celebration.

Because my husband and I are the ones in the Philippines, we were tasked to prepare for the ceremony. With only two weeks to spare (and a budget to work with), we had to look for the perfect location.

Our first choice was Balay Kalinaw. All four of us, the parents, were from the University of the Philippines Diliman, which makes it the perfect location for the celebration. The place is also rented out for a very cheap price. Unfortunately, the date we wanted was not available.

photo source Balay Kalinaw

Our second choice was Betty's located behind Sto. Domingo Church. It looks nice for a decent price. But then, October 14 is the Feast of La Naval. The place will be very crowded that time and so we had to scratch the idea again.

photo source Interior of Betty's

I was beginning to lose hope. That plus a crying baby is a deadly combination. I texted my husband and he asked from his officemates for suggestions. One medical representative suggested Rustica located at Scout Reyes corner Mother Ignacia Avenue (Tel. No. 415-3558). I searched the internet and they had positive reviews. We visited the place, we liked it, and we booked on our preferred date.

photo source

Days before the feast, we witnessed the slaughtering of two goats (one for each daughter) which is the sacrifice to be offered. It was held in Taguig City, my hometown. The goats had to be healthy and has to have complete sets of feet and nails. After which, the meat of the goats are to be distributed to people, preferably to those who are in need.

During the feast, most of the guests were complimenting us on the food. Some of the meat of the goat were also served that day. Unfortunately, that dish wasn't available anymore when it was my turn to eat. On a normal day, I don't eat goat meat. But for my daughter's aqeeqah, I wanted to have a taste of the dish.

These are the things our daughter wore for the occasion. We also had a hard time looking for a dress as Laika is only a month old and most of the dresses sold in malls are for big babies. Good thing we were able to see one in SM North Edsa.

photo source

We ordered cakes from Estrel's. They have the yummiest caramel cakes with just the right amount of sweetness.

One cake for each girl

The ceremony was hosted by a dear friend, Jane. And it was officiated by the same person who led our wedding, Ustadz Hamjatin.

First, the Ustadz explained what happened days before during the slaughtering of the goats and the ceremony that will follow as well. And then, he recited verses from the Qur'an.

Yarrah being older, first went through the ceremony. After her, Laika followed.

Cutting of the celebrants' hair

Feeding of honey

Putting on perfume

All in all, it was a simple and fun celebration. We wouldn't have it any other way.